Today I’m sharing and extract of Anthony De Mello’s book “Awareness” that I’ve found liberating. This book is really a great piece of theraphy and advice to undestand and enjoy life on a day-to-day basis. There is too much distraction in the current society about how we should think about others or ourselves.
As you identify less and less with the “I”, you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don’t have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or compulsion to explain things anymore. It’s all right. What is there to be explained? And you don’t feel the need or compulsion to apologyze anymore. I’d much rather hear you say, “I’ve come awake,” than hear you say, “I’m sorry”. I’d much rather hear you say to me, “I’ve come awake since we last met; what I did to you won’t happen again,” than to hear you say, “I’m so sorry for what I did to you.” Why would anyone demand an apology? You have something to explore in that. Even when someone supposedly was mean to you, there is no room for apology.
Nobody was mean to you. Somebody was mean to what he or she thought was you, but not to you. Nobody ever rejects you; they´re only rejecting what they think you are. But that cuts both ways. Nobody ever accepts you either. Until people come awake, they are simply accepting or rejecting their image of you. They’ve fashioned an image of you, and they’re rejecting or accepting that. See how devastating it is to go deeply into that. It’s a bit too liberating. But how easy it is to love people when you understand this. How easy it is to love everyone when you don’t identify with what they imagine you are or they are. It becomes easy to love them, to love everybody.